I've had this on my mind for a long time now yet I never really blogged about it.. But I need to talk about FAKE FRIENDS and the Bitches that love them.. It's so funny to me how someone can SAY you are family and they will love you thru thick and thin and then a man comes in the picture and ALL that flies right out the damn window. I knew from the beginning that this friendship would be trouble because of the simpleness displayed in previous relationships and friendships. But I threw caution to the wind and befriended someone who was never really my friend to begin with.. She only wanted to live her life through my past. I hate when people haven't been through anything and they think that YOUR experiences.. no matter how painful..are just the greatest thing ever. It's always a damn man.. why? and moreover an UNAVAILABLE man.. that seems to break up these seemingly super strong sisterhoods with bonds so strong that even GOD can't break.. Really? How easily we forget.
I hate being accused of things that I haven't done.. because I always end up doing it just to piss the accuser off. It may be simple to some, however, so is the foolishness that started the cycle to begin with..
I never really understood why anyone would want to live the life that I have had because it hasn't been a bed of roses.. unless you count the thorns in my side. But I guess it's better to have experienced and suffered than to watch from the sidelines. But if you want all the hurt and pain and tears that have come with my experiences.. be my guest.. you will wish you hadn't..
But back to the randomness... I could never be a lesbian because females get on my damn nerves. And once you fall out.. their FRIENDS.. oh the friends are the funniest of all. They will laugh and ha ha all in your face just to stay in your surroundings just to report what they THINK is going on. People see what they want to see.. so I give them something to look at. I keep telling people that I am not new to this game before I even got in to the field of criminal justice.. I studied PEOPLE. I watched their moves, how they operate, and it's so sad to see them try NOT to be themselves when they know you are on to them. People have patterns and no matter how hard you try.. you return to those patterns no matter what the situation, even me.. My mother told me she could always tell when I was upset because I post a lot of songs.. And she is right.. Music is my life.. it's how I get my feelings out. If I'm sad.. the notes of Classical music brings tears to my eyes.. I cry but through my tears I am able to see things more clearly.. it didn't take my mama long to figure me out .. but then again.. she is a SPECIAL woman.. we share a bond that most people will never understand. I guess that's why I am able to see things the way I see them now.. She trained me up..even after meeting her so late in the game..
But back to the bullshit.. I can tell when people are up to no good.. and it urks me that I have been right about this so many times before and they all of a sudden forget that I have this ability to see thru their bullshit when I have called them on it so many times before. I notice how they tend to pick sides without knowing all the facts. They are easily brainwashed into believing one side more than the other because of one person's perception of the truth.. It's good though because I like feeding the fish.. I throw out lil feelers to get them going kinda like throwing a tiny piece of bread into a pond of goldfish and watch them fight for it. They Bite everytime... why? Because it's a behavioral pattern. They can't help it..
The funniest part of ALL of this though.. is that the ones that want to AMEN the bullshit.. are the SAME ones who say the EXACT same shit about them behind their backs... It's amazing.. People should know by now that I keep evidence of everything... phone records, emails, pictures, I'm messages.. because you just never know when you will be called to testify on your own behalf.. You need evidence to make your case... that's a fact.
It tickles the hell outta me to see SISTA this and SISTA that.. and you are sooo beautiful inside and out.. until a dick comes swinging by everyone is in a free for all because they are all hard up for some loving. Don't be so obvious.. DAMN!.. There are other men in the world.. seriously.. you just have to not beat them down with all your past bullshit or not fuck them so quickly that you don't TRULY know what they are about until after you are already BLINDED BY THE DICK!..
I don't know.. maybe one day females will get it together and see that there is more to life than DICK.. there are actually females who can be your friend without trying to steal you hopes and fantasies away... why.. because they are living their own dreams.. the problem is.. you are so wrapped up in your own bullshit that you will never realize that the ones you THINK are your friends are usually the ones who will stab you in your back EVERYTIME...
but what do I know... right?
(did you think this was about you.. hahaa.. BEHAVIORAL PATTERNS... Gotcha!)
i was bored.. sue me.. *_*
