1. I am REALLY sick of people saying.. You can do this .. You are strong..
NO.. I'm not.. Dayum, can a Bitch just be TIRED and not GIVE A FUCK? I honestly don't care how my family is handling all of this.. because most didn't care while it was happening. I don't give a flying fuck if they are all being Haunted by his spirit every dayum day ( I would CTFU though)... I don't give a shit about holding this family together.. I don't give a dayum what my mother's plans are.. I simply want to not have to think or worry about anything or anyone else besides my own children for the next 20 years.. Is that o fuckin KAY with anyone?
2. i am REALLLLLLY sick of people ASKING ME TO HELP THEM with their issues.
My father hasn't been dead 2 fuggin weeks ... are you seriously asking me to give a dayum about your hair not laying right for a picture? Do you REALLY think I *SHOULD* care about what's going on in anyone's life right now? HELLLOOOOOO MC FLY... You DON'T MATTER .. and probably won't for a very very long time. If YOU think for one second that I give a dayum about your car being repoed, your lights being cut off.. or your boyfriend cheating.. You don't know me at all.. NOR do you give a shit about me because if YOU DID.. you would not Bother me with this dumb shit that YOU could have fixed a long time ago.. I have NO advice for anyone. I have no GIVE A FUCK ... I threw that shit off the dayum roof, ran over it with my car.. put what was left in a box and Blew it UP... YOU are GROWN.. FIX your OWN SHIT!
3. I am REALLLLLY sick of people acting like they can't do shit for themselves..
I have done NOTHING but cater to my father and his every need for the past 4 years. I refuse to put myself BACK in that situation for able bodied people who are BETTER off than I am. If YOUR phone dials out.. don't ask me to call someone and ask for SHIT.. If your feet work and your mouth releases words and your hands can write.. DO IT YOUR MUTHAFUGGIN SELF.. If it doesn't involve Jordon, Kasey, or Kennedy.. it don't MATTER. I can't even grieve his death because people are calling me with SHEEEEER bullshit.. Then have the NERVE to get mad because I don't give a shit.. I'm soo sorry for any inconvenience you may be experiencing at this time.. But if you are still waiting for me to do.. KILLL YASELF!
4. I am reallllllllllly REALLLLLY sick of all this EXTRA unsolicated ADVICE from Muthafuckas I don't KNOW or LIKE or that TURNED their damn backs on me when my father needed them the most.
How do you even FIX YOUR FACE to tell me what I need to do about his BILLS and his house and his belongings and his SHIT...when yo Ass hasn't been seen since Peewee Herman.. GTFOH... If you aren't part of the solution you are the PROBLEM. I know what needs to be done.. and if it doesn't GET done.. noone will have to deal with it BUT ME.. just like everything else that has happened. You don't have any consequences what so ever so STFU.. PLEASE and THANK YOU!..People LOVE to be able to say.. I TOLD YOU to go and do this.. when THEY COULD HAVE HELPPPPPPPED when he was alive.. He was famous for saying.. if you can't come see me when I'm alive.. don't bother me when I'm DEAD.. AMEN DADDY... FUCK EM...
5. As for right now.. the last thing that I am getting TIDE of is the LYING!
You don't CARE about me.. You don't care what happens to me.. You don't give a dayum if I'm eating .. or sleeping for real.. You just want to RUN ya fucking mouth and be seen. Don't SAY you care about me then CUSS me out because I didn't do what YOU wanted me to do when YOU wanted me to do it. I shouldn't have to CALLLLLLLLL anyone and say.. I'm down.. I miss my daddy. YOU should call me and say if you need me I'm here. WTF kinda shit is that... I have to call you .. when most days I can't even talk.. REALLY NIGGA!.. Kill Yaself... then set ya self on Fire you Bitch! Call it arrogant if you like.. AGAIN... I blew up my GIVE A FUCK... so... *YEA*... I have never seen so many self centered ...it's ALLL ABOUT ME.. muthafuckas in my LIFE.. URGHH
You know it's bad when people who AREN'T your friends anymore think better of you than people who claim to LOVE you.. I would rather play Hang Man with the KKK than to listen to one more Fuggin word come out of your mouth..
Yea.. I cussed alot in this blog.. I'm the Child of a MARINE.. They make UP cuss words.. So what did you expect.. Don't really matter cause again.. *GIVE A FUCK ...BLEW UP! *kayne shrug*.. So listen .. if you feel like any of this is directed at you.. then.... well.. take it personal... I didn't call ONE name but I bet there are some MF huffin and puffin right now.. OH WELL FUCK YA!
Can I... GRIEVE .. without someone telling me HOW the Hell I'm suppose to DO it.. You haven't been where I have been and dealt with what I did.. so You DON'T know what this feels like.. You don't know how much it HURTS.. You can't fathom how BROKEN my spirit is... Yes I have my faith and I don't need a bunch of scriptures.. I can read. I have a pastor for that.. What I need is for people to realize that they aren't that important right now.. Nothing you say will make me feel better.. I won't just GET OVER IT..( yes a mf told me that) and I don't need to hear what works for you .. when you break a dayum Nail.. It DOESN'T COMPARE!
I am sooo thankful for the friends that I have .. that may not always know WHAT to say... but know that just BEING there.. QUIETTTTTTLY is all I require.. Please get yaself together.. or get the fuck outta my way..
Signed....
a Bitch that truly will fuck you up if you come to me with any of the things listed above ... * blank stare*
*RNS*
