Why are you getting married?

The perfect ring..

So, I've been sitting here thinking to myself .. why in the ____ am I getting married? You are loosing sleep, you've been with him all this time UNMARRIED, you're becoming a bit of a butthole ( not intentionally) and something tells me that these migraines may be a direct result of the stress you're putting on yourself..  So.. why the hell are you going through all this.. Is it really worth it..

.. and no matter how much I try to talk myself out of it..I come back to the same answer
..Yes!

I was watching THE BLIND SIDE the other day and the lady was interrogating Michael about all that OLE MISS stuff.. why all the people in his life want him to go.. what THEY have invested in it..blah blah blah.. and he got MAD and stormed out.. He started to second guess the people that he loves and why they loved him and he ran.. He ran right back to the life that he had before.. and ended up having to fight his way out, literally.. and all he wanted was the one person that loved him the most..

So I'm sure you are saying .. Eb.. seriously.. what does this have to do with you getting married.. Well.. when he got his head right.. He went back where he should be, got his mind right.. He went back to the lady that was interrogating him..  Everyone had calmed down.. and he said.. With all the questions you were asking me.. you never once asked why I wanted to go to OLE MISS.. and she said ok why.. and he said .. because My Family goes there..

And that's why this is important to me.. My family..

After my daddy passed away.. all the tension with my family began to heal itself.. I started to learn alot about my family history. And with everything I've heard.. I've never heard about a wedding. Yes, people are married in my family.. but there has never been a real wedding. There are no family pictures to refer back to, there are no family reunions.. My family is pretty separated.. what little we have. I think that needs to Change.

I want my children and my cousins and my niece and godchildren to know that marriage is a GOOD thing. The family is suppose to celebrate your happiness. We shouldn't just get together when someone dies. We need to make memories that are HAPPY... period. I am a very nostalgic person. I believe in traditions to a point. My sister always talks about things we don't have to pass down like *normal* families. We don't have wills, our family heirlooms..  I want to one day pass down a pair of diamond earrings to my daughters that my husband gave me. I want my son to think that just shacking up with a woman is ok. It's not ok. If you love that woman enough .. give her your last name. I want my niece to know that her aunt is not just her father's sister.. But that she can call on me for anything.. and if I have to get my butt in the car and drive all night just to be there in the waiting room when she gives birth to her first child.. That's EXACTLY what I'm going to do..

My family has really been divided for far too long and although there are members of my family that AREN'T blood related.. they are still family.. and that's what it's all about. I've been sitting here worrying my ass off about if the church will be JUST RIGHT for pictures, if the reception food will be right.. Will my centerpieces be perfect..Do I have enough music.. money.. the perfect wedding set..  And although I have the PERFECT wedding coordinator Patty Ann, the Best Dj Mark Patton and a fabulous Designer Ebony Cromartie, The Baddest Lady ever touch a pair of Flat Irons Latarsha Love Strong.. and the woman who will make me beautiful.. Tanya Clark.. and the BEST FRIENDS ever.. whatever happens.. it will be a GOOD memory for a change. It will be the start of a tradition.. it will be a Family event where we are all happy and beautiful and TOGETHER..

Now.. with all that said.. none of this could be possible without one person. The one who has been by my side from day one...the one who has forgiven me for soo many of my faults.. the one who has nursed me back to health and healed my broken heart .. the one who has shown my son how to be a man.. how to take care of his family.. the one who has been a father .. showing my girls that the one you love may not look like a model but will love and protect you like no other.. the love of my life.. my protector, my God given gift.. my Husband, my friend, and soon to be.. my forever.. Teddy.. where would I be without him.. In a world of hurt ... that's where..


So.. today.. I'm going to put all the stress behind me.. My wedding will be the first of many beautiful memories that my family will share together..  TOGETHER.. *hmm*.. that word simply makes it all worth it..

What I'm looking forward to the most.. the first OFFICIAL complete family picture.. My husband.. my children.. brother and sister..my aunt, my uncles, cousins..grandma.. my familia.. 


yes..